It's a Girl... I think.

It was one of those things that seemed like it would never actually come, but before I knew it I was in a triage room pushing,

I was lying next to Jack that Friday night, half asleep, when I was woken up by a really strong contraction. I had been contracting for the past two and a half weeks, but this one was different. I wasn't the only one who noticed, because Jack immediately asked me what was wrong. After about an hour of these contractions we woke up my mom to go to the hospital when I noticed I had a bloody show. I played my Hypnobabies relaxation music on the drive and cuddled up with Jack in the backseat. My mom pulled up and Jack ran me inside in a wheelchair while she parked. I kept my music in my ears while we waited an hour in the triage room. Even though I felt like I was making progress, I wasn't contracting quick enough to stay and we were sent home with a shot of morphine. I was given morphine the week before to try and stop my non-progressing contractions and give me the chance to sleep, but this time I was up all night.

Saturday morning I tried to comfort myself with a warm bubble bath in our jetted tub. We loaded back into the van and headed back to the hospital. This time Dr. Juchau decided to keep me and I had a rush of relief that we were actually going to get somewhere. We had made the decision that we were going to have a natural birth shortly after we found out I was pregnant, and it was very difficult! As the day went on I stopped dilating, I was stalled out at six centimeters. Dr. Juchau broke my water to see if it would help, but I still couldn't dilate. I was given pitocin, which got me dilating again, but it also made my contractions harder. They offered fentanyl to help take the edge off and I gladly accepted.

It got to be about eight at night when I was checked again. I was dilating, but my cervix was also swelling. Dr. Juchau made the decision to put in an epidural to see if the swelling would go down. As much as I wanted a natural birth, I wanted to avoid a cesarean more, and I accepted the epidural.

A lot of people asked me why I wanted to go natural, and my response was that I didn't want to be disconnected from the experience. I was often chastised that an epidural goes into your back and doesn't affect your consciousness; but everyone who told me this was incredibly wrong. I knew the instant it started working, not because the discomfort was gone, but because I felt like I had left my body. I slept through the next couple hours and was woken around ten by Dr. Juchau when he came in to check the swelling. It had completely gone down and I was fully dilated and effaced. He told me that they would give me an hour to rest and then we'd start pushing; a process he told me might take up to two hours. He left the room- and I kid you not- just like a revolving door the nurse walked in. She also checked me, then informed me that we would begin pushing.

That was the shortest hour of my life!! Everyone started moving around me and I lost track of what was going on. Before I knew it I was all hitched up and the nurse was explaining to me how to push. I hate to admit this, but I was terrified. I knew that I was complaining that I wanted this thing out, but now I actually had to push it out! I panicked inside myself and told myself I wasn't ready to actually push a living person out of me. It was 10:19 pm when I gave my first push; and it was the most energy zapping thing I had ever done. I was supposed to keep doing this for two hours?!

No. I pushed as hard as I could each time; this was not going to last two whole hours! All at once I felt a pop; and someone said that the head was out. I had another contraction and pushed with my all; and felt another pop. And then another. I felt the arms literally fly out of me, it was the strangest feeling in the world. Dr. Black held up a baby, and exhausted I asked Jack, "What is it?" Of course I already knew the answer, I had already determined that it was a boy and there was no way that it wasn't a boy. No way.

"It's a girl... I think." I was sure that he just saw it wrong, because it was definitely NOT a girl. And then "Ivory." was set on my belly. No. Way. I was convinced that they had pulled out the wrong baby and there was actually a boy in there; they had to put this one back and get the right baby out. But there she was, and she was mine. I immediately wouldn't let them put her back, because this was my baby. She was mine and I couldn't have asked for anything more perfect.

Ivory Marie Tanner was born at 10:42 pm Saturday August 11th, 2012. She weighed 7 pounds and 11 ounces; twenty inches long. And one hundred percent perfect.