Why yes, I am aware that I got married at an age that most people would consider "young." Because people who get married after age twenty-five are immune to marital problems and divorce.
Now this is a real shocker, I am a young mom. I know, I didn't believe it myself until you so graciously pointed out the child in my arms. Because I didn't actually carry her in my belly and squeeze her out my veejay. What a revelation!
Yes, thank you, my husband didn't go on a mission. I know, I live with him. I am aware. Thank you.
He also got his GED, and OMG, so did I. And we're not rolling around in the mud like the animals we are. We even live in a house and drive a car like regular human beings. What is this world coming to?
As it is often pointed out by my little brother, yes, Jack and I have an unusual relationship. We missed the class that everyone else supposedly took to have identical relationships to each other. Maybe we'll get to it next week.
Okay, confession time. My husband looks at other girls' butts. He does. I've seen him do it, he doesn't even try to be inconspicuous about it. I'm talking full fledged head-turn-and-lean-around-the-corner-as-she-walks-past looking. It's usually followed by him asking me, "What about that one?" to which I give a critique.
And then this magical thing happens; we keep living our lives. It's amazing isn't it? We haven't spontaneously combusted from all of our horrible offenses to humanity.
We actually don't hide any of these things from anybody. Ever. So thank you for informing me of these things. But I'm aware of my life, I live it every day. So if you don't mind, I think I'll hold off on taking pointers from anybody until they show me their certificate of a perfect life.
